Weddings 

חתונה 

After the signing of the marriage contract, it is time to proceed to the wedding canopy. These are moments of great emotion for the bride and groom and their parents and families. One chapter in life, including many years of childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, is coming to its conclusion, as a new, meaningful, exciting, and challenging period in life is about to begin.  

First the groom is led by his escorts to the wedding canopy. If he is going to wear a kittel for the ceremony (see above), he puts it on at this stage. Then the bride is brought to the canopy, accompanied by her escorts. The fact that the bride and groom are brought in separately symbolizes the fact that each of them approaches the wedding canopy as individuals, but will leave together as a united couple.

It is customary for the parents to escort the bride and groom to the canopy. Some have the custom that the bride’s parents accompany the bride while the groom’s parents walk with him. According to another custom, the two fathers walk with the groom while the two mothers accompany the bride. 

In many communities it is customary that only married couples escort the bride and groom to the wedding canopy, as a good omen for the new couple. If the parents of one or both parties are divorced or widowed, one should consult the officiating rabbi as to who should accompany the groom and/or bride to the canopy. Some have the custom that in such a situation a married couple from the family (grandparents or an uncle and aunt) should do so. 

Many Ashkenazim have the practice that those accompanying the bride and groom carry lit candles, to enhance the honor and dignity of the ceremony. 

Just before he walks to the wedding canopy, the groom, with his escorts, approaches the bride and covers her face with a veil. The bride stays covered with the veil until the end of the wedding ceremony. Two explanations are given for this ancient custom: 

(1) the veil symbolizes that the bride reserves her beauty for the groom, and therefore she is covered from the gaze of others;  

(2) in this manner the bride follows the path of our matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face with a scarf when she first met our forefather Isaac (see Genesis 24:65). 

The witnesses to the kiddushin should see the groom covering the bride’s face with the veil. If it is not the woman’s first marriage, her face is not covered.

These moments are considered to be an auspicious time of heavenly mercy for the bride and groom, when they can pray for the success of the joint home they are about to establish, as well as for the welfare of all those who are in need. Many have the custom of handing notes to the bride, listing names of people suffering from medical or other difficulties so that she can pray for them at this special time.  

After the bride’s face has been covered with the veil, some have the custom that her parents and grandparents approach her and bless her. Some recite the blessing that Rebecca received from her family: “Our sister, may you become thousands and ten-thousands” (Genesis 24:60). 

After the groom covers the bride’s face with the veil, he is escorted to the canopy and waits for the bride to arrive. This is an appropriate time for the groom to pray for the success of his marriage and for others who are in need.  

Now the bride begins her approach to the canopy with her escorts. Some have a custom that as she reaches the wedding canopy, the groom comes out to meet her and to accompany her for the final few steps to the canopy. The wedding canopy symbolizes the groom’s house, and the groom is symbolically bringing the bride into his home. 

At the beginning of the ceremony, the groom stands at the center of the wedding canopy, and it is customary for the bride, together with her mother and the mother of the groom, to encircle him seven times. Some find an allusion to this custom in a statement of the prophet Jeremiah: “For the Lord has created a novelty on the earth: A woman will court a man” (Jeremiah 31:21), as the literal translation of these words is: A woman will go around a man. 

Standing under the wedding canopy is a very significant part of the wedding ceremony. The bride enters and stands with the groom in a place that has been specially designated for the marriage of the couple.  

The custom of most Ashkenazim is that the canopy is set up under the open sky, as a symbolic blessing for the couple, that their descendants should be like the stars of heaven. Sephardim do not follow this practice; they maintain that the canopy may be situated even under a roofed structure.  

When it is not possible for the canopy to be set up under the open sky, as, for example, when there is inclement weather, Ashkenazim generally conduct the ceremony in an enclosed area. Yet, some are very strict about this matter, and under no circumstances will they perform the ceremony other than under the open sky.  

After the bride circles the groom seven times, she stands to his right. During the ceremony, the following individuals stand under the canopy: the bride and groom, their parents, the rabbi, the witnesses, those reciting the blessings (each in turn), and sometimes also the master of ceremonies.  

Many have the custom to place ashes on the groom’s head before the wedding ceremony, in commemoration of the destruction of the Temple. 

העמידה תחת החופה היא חלק משמעותי ממעשה הנישואין ועניינה הוא כניסת הכלה אל מקום שהוכן במיוחד לצורך הנישואין ושהייה שלה שם עם החתן. 

מנהגים שונים רוב האשכנזים נוהגים לקיים את החופה תחת כיפת השמים, וזאת כ'סימן ברכה' לבני הזוג, שיהיה זרעם ככוכבי השמים. הספרדים אינם נוהגים כך ועורכים חופות גם בתוך מבנה מקוּרה. 

כאשר לא מתאפשר לערוך את החופה תחת כיפת השמים, לדוגמה כשיורד גשם חזק, גם לאשכנזים מותר לקיים את החופה תחת קורת גג. אולם יש המקפידים על כך מאוד, ובשום אופן אינם מוותרים על חופה במקום פתוח. 

עם תום שבע ההקפות סביב החתן מתייצבת הכלה לימין החתן. במהלך הטקס עומדים תחת החופה החתן והכלה, הוריהם, הרב, העדים, מברכי הברכות (כל אחד בתורו) ולעתים גם מנחֶה הטקס. 

יש הנוהגים לפני תחילת החופה להניח מעט אפר על ראש החתן — זֵכר לחורבן בית המקדש. 

After the signing of the marriage contract, it is time to proceed to the wedding canopy. These are moments of great emotion for the bride and groom and their parents and families. One chapter in life, including many years of childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, is coming to its conclusion, a