אַכּוּלְּהוּ. וְהָא שִׁשָּׁה חֳדָשִׁים קָאָמַר! אֵינוֹ דּוֹמֶה מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ פַּת בְּסַלּוֹ, לְמִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ פַּת בְּסַלּוֹ.

the tanna taught us a halakha with regard to all of them, not only a man of leisure or a laborer. He asked him: But with regard to a sailor it said that the set interval for conjugal relations is six months; why, then, should he have to divorce her if he vowed to forbid these relations for only a week? He answered him: It is well known that one who has bread in his basket is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. On a fast day, one who does not have bread available in his basket suffers more than one who does have bread available and knows that he will be able to eat later. In this case as well, when a woman knows that marital relations are forbidden to her due to a vow, her suffering from waiting for her husband to return is increased.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ רַבָּה בַּר רַב חָנָן לְאַבַּיֵי: חַמָּר וְנַעֲשֶׂה גַּמָּל מַאי? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: רוֹצָה אִשָּׁה בְּקַב וְתִיפְלוּת מֵעֲשָׂרָה קַבִּין וּפְרִישׁוּת.

Rabba bar Rav Hanan said to Abaye: If a donkey driver who is already married wants to become a camel driver, what is the halakha ? Is he permitted to change his profession in order to earn more money from his work, even though this will mean he reduces the frequency with which he engages in conjugal relations with his wife? He answered him: A woman prefers a kav , i.e., modest means, with conjugal relations to ten kav with abstinence. Consequently, he is not allowed to change his profession without her permission.

״הַסַּפָּנִים אַחַת לְשִׁשָּׁה חֳדָשִׁים דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר״. אָמַר רַב בְּרוֹנָא אָמַר רַב: הֲלָכָה כְּרַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר. אֲמַר רַב אַדָּא בַּר אַהֲבָה אָמַר רַב: זוֹ דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר, אֲבָל חֲכָמִים אוֹמְרִים: הַתַּלְמִידִים יוֹצְאִין לְתַלְמוּד תּוֹרָה שְׁתַּיִם וְשָׁלֹֹש שָׁנִים שֶׁלֹּא בִּרְשׁוּת. אֲמַר רָבָא: סָמְכוּ רַבָּנַן אַדְּרַב אַדָּא בַּר אַהֲבָה וְעָבְדֵי עוּבְדָא בְּנַפְשַׁיְיהוּ.

§ The mishna stated: For sailors, the set interval for conjugal relations is once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Berona said that Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Adda bar Ahava said that Rav said: This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer, but the Rabbis say: Students may leave their homes to study Torah for as long as two or three years without permission from their wives. Rava said: The Sages relied on Rabbi Adda bar Ahava’s opinion and performed an action like this themselves, but the results were sometimes fatal.

כִּי הָא דְּרַב רְחוּמִי הֲוָה שְׁכִיחַ קַמֵּיהּ דְּרָבָא בִּמְחוֹזָא. הֲוָה רָגִיל דַּהֲוָה אָתֵי לְבֵיתֵיהּ כָּל מַעֲלֵי יוֹמָא דְּכִיפּוּרֵי. יוֹמָא חַד מְשַׁכְתֵּיהּ שְׁמַעְתָּא, הֲוָה מְסַכְיָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ: הָשְׁתָּא אָתֵי, הָשְׁתָּא אָתֵי. לָא אֲתָא. חֲלַשׁ דַּעְתָּהּ, אַחֵית דִּמְעָתָא מֵעֵינָהּ. הֲוָה יְתֵיב בְּאִיגְרָא – אִפְחִית אִיגְרָא מִתּוּתֵיהּ, וְנָח נַפְשֵׁיהּ.

This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently.

עוֹנָה שֶׁל תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים אֵימַת? אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה אָמַר שְׁמוּאֵל: מֵעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת לְעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת. ״אֲשֶׁר פִּרְיוֹ יִתֵּן בְּעִתּוֹ״ אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה וְאִיתֵּימָא רַב הוּנָא וְאִיתֵּימָא רַב נַחְמָן: זֶה הַמְשַׁמֵּשׁ מִטָּתוֹ מֵעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת לְעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת.

§ When is the ideal time for Torah scholars to fulfill their conjugal obligations? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: The appropriate time for them is from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, i.e., on Friday nights. Similarly, it is stated with regard to the verse “that brings forth its fruit in its season” (Psalms 1:3): Rav Yehuda said, and some say that it was Rav Huna, and some say that it was Rav Naḥman: This is referring to one who engages in marital relations, bringing forth his fruit, from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve.

יְהוּדָה בְּרֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי חִיָּיא חֲתָנֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי יַנַּאי הֲוָה אָזֵיל וִיתֵיב בְּבֵי רַב, וְכָל בֵּי שִׁמְשֵׁי הֲוָה אָתֵי לְבֵיתֵיהּ. וְכִי הֲוָה אָתֵי – הֲוָה קָא חָזֵי קַמֵּיהּ עַמּוּדָא דְּנוּרָא. יוֹמָא חַד מְשַׁכְתֵּיהּ שְׁמַעְתָּא. כֵּיוָן דְּלָא חָזֵי הַהוּא סִימָנָא – אֲמַר לְהוּ רַבִּי יַנַּאי: כְּפוּ מִטָּתוֹ, שֶׁאִילְמָלֵי יְהוּדָה קַיָּים – לֹא בִּיטֵּל עוֹנָתוֹ. הֲוַאי ״כִּשְׁגָגָה שֶׁיּוֹצָא מִלִּפְנֵי הַשַּׁלִּיט״ וְנָח נַפְשֵׁיהּ.

It is related further that Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya and son- in-law of Rabbi Yannai, would go and sit in the study hall, and every Shabbat eve at twilight he would come to his house. When he would come, Rabbi Yannai would see a pillar of fire preceding him due to his sanctity. One day he was engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and he stayed in the study hall and did not return home. When Rabbi Yannai did not see that sign preceding him, he said to the family: Turn his bed over, as one does at times of mourning, since he must have died, reasoning that if Yehuda were alive he would not have missed his set interval for conjugal relations and would certainly have come home. What he said became “like an error that proceeds from a ruler” (Ecclesiastes 10:5), and Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya, died.

רַבִּי אִיעֲסַק לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ בֵּי רַבִּי חִיָּיא. כִּי מְטָא לְמִיכְתַּב כְּתוּבָּה נָח נַפְֵשָׁהּ דִּרְבִיתָא. אָמַר רַבִּי: חַס וְשָׁלוֹם פְּסוּלָא אִיכָּא? יְתִיבוּ וְעִיְּינוּ בַּמִּשְׁפָּחוֹת: רַבִּי אָתֵי מִשְּׁפַטְיָה בֶּן אֲבִיטַל, וְרַבִּי חִיָּיא אָתֵי מִשִּׁמְעִי אֲחִי דָּוִד.

It is related further that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Ḥiyya. When he came to write the marriage contract, the girl died. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: Is there, Heaven forbid, some disqualification in these families, as it appears that God prevented this match from taking place? They sat and looked into the families’ ancestry Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was descended from Shefatya ben Avital, the wife of David, whereas Rabbi Ḥiyya was descended from Shimi, David’s brother.

אָזֵיל אִיעֲסַק לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ בֵּי רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בֶּן זִימְרָא. פָּסְקוּ לֵיהּ תַּרְתֵּי סְרֵי שְׁנִין לְמֵיזַל בְּבֵי רַב. אַחְלְפוּהָ קַמֵּיהּ, אֲמַר לְהוּ: נֶיהֱווּ שִׁית שְׁנִין. אַחְלְפוּהָ קַמֵּיהּ, אֲמַר לְהוּ: אִיכְנִיס, וַהֲדַר אֵיזִיל. הֲוָה קָא מִכְסִיף מֵאֲבוּהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: בְּנִי, דַּעַת קוֹנְךָ יֵשׁ בְּךָ.

He went and arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra. They agreed for him that they would support him for twelve years to go to study in the study hall. It was assumed that he would first go to study and afterward get married. They passed the girl in front of the groom and when he saw her he said: Let it be just six years. They passed her in front of him again and he said to them: I will marry her now and then go to study. He was then ashamed to see his father, as he thought he would reprimand him because when he saw the girl he desired her and could not wait. His father placated him and said to him: My son, you have your Maker’s perception, meaning you acted the same way that God does.

מֵעִיקָּרָא כְּתִיב ״תְּבִיאֵמוֹ וְתִטָּעֵמוֹ״ וּלְבַסּוֹף כְּתִיב ״וְעָשׂוּ לִי מִקְדָּשׁ וְשָׁכַנְתִּי בְּתוֹכָם״.

The proof for this is that initially it is written: “You bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place that You, O Lord, have made for You to dwell in” (Exodus 15:17), which indicates that God’s original intention was to build a Temple for the Jewish people after they had entered Eretz Yisrael. And ultimately it is written: “And let them make Me a Sanctuary, that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8), i.e., even while they were still in the desert, which indicates that due to their closeness to God, they enjoyed greater affection and He therefore advanced what would originally have come later.

אָזֵיל יְתֵיב תַּרְתֵּי סְרֵי שְׁנֵי בְּבֵי רַב, עַד דַּאֲתָא אִיעַקְּרָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ. אֲמַר רַבִּי: הֵיכִי נַעֲבֵיד? נְגָרְשָׁהּ – יֹאמְרוּ: עֲנִיָּיה זוֹ לַשָּׁוְא שִׁימְּרָה. נִינְסֵיב אִיתְּתָא אַחֲרִיתֵי – יֹאמְרוּ: זוֹ אִשְׁתּוֹ, וְזוֹ זוֹנָתוֹ. בָּעֵי עֲלָהּ רַחֲמֵי וְאִיתַּסִּיאַת.

After his wedding he went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back his wife had become infertile, as a consequence of spending many years without her husband. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: What should we do? If he will divorce her, people will say: This poor woman waited and hoped for naught. If he will marry another woman to beget children, people will say: This one, who bears him children, is his wife and that one, who lives with him, is his mistress. Therefore, her husband pleaded with God to have mercy on her and she was cured.

רַבִּי חֲנַנְיָה בֶּן חֲכִינַאי הֲוָה קָאָזֵיל לְבֵי רַב בְּשִׁילְהֵי הִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַאי. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אִיעַכַּב לִי עַד דְּאָתֵי בַּהֲדָךְ. לָא אִיעַכְּבָא לֵיהּ. אֲזַל יְתֵיב תְּרֵי סְרֵי שְׁנֵי בְּבֵי רַב. עַד דְּאָתֵי – אִישְׁתַּנּוּ שְׁבִילֵי דְּמָתָא, וְלָא יָדַע לְמֵיזַל לְבֵיתֵיהּ.

Rabbi Ḥananya ben Ḥakhinai went to the study hall at the end of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai’s wedding feast. Rabbi Shimon said to him: Wait for me until I can come with you, after my days of celebration are over. However, since he wanted to learn Torah, he did not wait and went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back, all the paths of his city had changed and he did not know how to go to his home.

אֲזַל יְתֵיב אַגּוּדָא דְּנַהֲרָא. שְׁמַע לְהַהִיא רְבִיתָא דְּהָווּ קָרוּ לָהּ: בַּת חֲכִינַאי, בַּת חֲכִינַאי, מְלִי קוּלְתֵךְ וְתָא נֵיזִיל. אֲמַר: שְׁמַע מִינָּהּ, הַאי רְבִיתָא דִּידָן. אֲזַל בַּתְרָהּ, הֲוָה יְתִיבָא דְּבֵיתְהוּ קָא נָהֲלָה קִמְחָא. דָּל עֵינָהּ, חֲזִיתֵיהּ, סָוֵי לִבָּהּ, פָּרַח רוּחָהּ. אָמַר לְפָנָיו: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, עֲנִיָּיה זוֹ, זֶה שְׂכָרָהּ?! בְּעָא רַחֲמֵי עֲלָהּ וְחַיָּיה.

He went and sat on the bank of the river and heard people calling to a certain girl: Daughter of Ḥakhinai, daughter of Ḥakhinai, fill your pitcher and come up. He said: I can conclude from this that this is our daughter, meaning his own daughter, whom he had not recognized after so many years. He followed her to his house. His wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted her eyes up, saw him and recognized him, and her heart fluttered with agitation and she passed away from the emotional stress. Rabbi Ḥananya said before God: Master of the universe, is this the reward of this poor woman? He pleaded for mercy for her and she lived.

רַבִּי חָמָא בַּר בִּיסָא אָזֵיל יְתֵיב תְּרֵי סְרֵי שְׁנֵי בְּבֵי מִדְרָשָׁא. כִּי אֲתָא, אֲמַר: לָא אִיעֲבִיד כִּדְעָבֵיד בֶּן חֲכִינַאי. עָיֵיל יְתֵיב בְּמִדְרָשָׁא, שָׁלַח לְבֵיתֵיהּ. אֲתָא רַבִּי אוֹשַׁעֲיָא בְּרֵיהּ, יְתֵיב קַמֵּיהּ. הֲוָה קָא מַשְׁאִיל לֵיהּ שְׁמַעְתָּא, חֲזָא דְּקָא מִתְחַדְּדֵי שְׁמַעְתֵּיהּ, חָלַשׁ דַּעְתֵּיהּ, אֲמַר: אִי הֲוַאי הָכָא – הֲוָה לִי זֶרַע כִּי הַאי.

Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house, he said: I will not do what the son of Ḥakhinai, who came home suddenly with tragic consequences for his wife, did. He went and sat in the study hall in his hometown, and sent a message to his house that he had arrived. While he was sitting there his son Rabbi Oshaya, whom he did not recognize, came and sat before him. Rabbi Oshaya asked him questions about halakha , and Rabbi Ḥama saw that the halakhot of Rabbi Oshaya were incisive, i.e., he was very sharp. Rabbi Ḥama was distressed and said: If I had been here and had taught my son I would have had a child like this.

עָל לְבֵיתֵיהּ. עָל בְּרֵיהּ, קָם קַמֵּיהּ. הוּא סָבַר – לְמִשְׁאֲלֵיהּ שְׁמַעְתְּתָא קָא בָּעֵי. אָמְרָה לֵיהּ דְּבֵיתְהוּ: מִי אִיכָּא אַבָּא דְּקָאֵים מִקָּמֵי בְּרָא? קָרֵי עֲלֵיהּ רָמֵי בַּר חָמָא: ״הַחוּט הַמְּשׁוּלָּשׁ לֹא בִמְהֵרָה יִנָּתֵק״ – זֶה רַבִּי אוֹשַׁעֲיָא, בְּנוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי חָמָא בַּר בִּיסָא.

Rabbi Ḥama went in to his house and his son went in with him. Rabbi Ḥama then stood up before him to honor a Torah scholar, since he thought that he wanted to ask him a matter of halakha . His wife said to him: Is there a father who stands up before his son? The Gemara comments: Rami bar Ḥama read the verse about him: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). This is referring to Rabbi Oshaya, son of Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa, as he represented the third generation of Torah scholars in his family.

רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא רָעֲיָא דְּבֶן כַּלְבָּא שָׂבוּעַ הֲוָה. חֲזִיתֵיהּ בְּרַתֵּיהּ דַּהֲוָה צְנִיעַ וּמַעֲלֵי, אָמְרָה לֵיהּ: אִי מִקַּדַּשְׁנָא לָךְ אָזְלַתְּ לְבֵי רַב? אֲמַר לָהּ: אִין אִיקַּדְשָׁא לֵיהּ בְּצִינְעָה, וּשְׁדַרְתֵּיהּ. שְׁמַע אֲבוּהּ אַפְּקָהּ מִבֵּיתֵיהּ, אַדְּרָהּ הֲנָאָה מִנִּכְסֵיהּ. אָזֵיל יְתֵיב תְּרֵי סְרֵי שְׁנִין בְּבֵי רַב, כִּי אֲתָא – אַיְיתֵי בַּהֲדֵיהּ תְּרֵי סְרֵי אַלְפֵי תַּלְמִידֵי. שְׁמַעֵיהּ לְהַהוּא סָבָא דְּקָאָמַר לָהּ: עַד כַּמָּה

The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long