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Gittin

Daf 90a

וּפְרוּמָה מִשְּׁנֵי צְדָדֶיהָ, וְרוֹחֶצֶת עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם.

and with her garment open from both sides, and bathing with men, and ignores it.

RASHI

ופרומה משני צדדיה אצל אצילי ידיה כדרך אדומיות שבצרפת שבשרן נראה מצדיהן:

עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם סָלְקָא דַּעְתָּךְ? אֶלָּא בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁבְּנֵי אָדָם רוֹחֲצִין.

The Gemara asks: Can it enter your mind that the baraita is referring to a wife who bathes with men? Even a man of the lowest moral character would not allow his wife to act in this manner. Rather, the baraita means that she bathes in a place where men often bathe.

RASHI

עם בני אדם סלקא דעתך א"כ רגלים לדבר שזונה היא ואסורה לו:

במקום שבני אדם רוחצים והיא נכנסת לעיניהם לאחר יציאתן כשהן לובשין בגדיהן:

TOSAFOT

עם בני אדם סלקא דעתך פירש בקונטרס אם כן רגלים לדבר שזונה היא ואסורה לו וחובה לגרשה ולא מצוה וקשה דהא טווה בשוק ויוצאה וראשה פרוע נמי חובה לגרשה ולא מצוה דבעיא היא בסוטה (דף כה.) אי עוברת על דת יהודית מותר לקיימה או לא ולא איפשיטא ואמאי לא פריך נמי עלה ויש לומר דכיון דבעיא בסוטה לא הויא אלא מדרבנן קאמר שפיר דמצוה לגרשה אבל זו חובה לגרשה מן התורה ועוד יש לפרש רוחצת עם בני אדם סלקא דעתך אפילו אדם רע אינו סובל זה מאשתו או אפילו קלה שבקלות אינה עושה כן:

זוֹ – מִצְוָה מִן הַתּוֹרָה לְגָרְשָׁהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״כִּי מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת וגו׳ וְשִׁלְּחָהּ מִבֵּיתוֹ…וְהָלְכָה וְהָיְתָה לָאִישׁ אַחֵר״, הַכָּתוּב קְרָאוֹ ״אַחֵר״, לוֹמַר, שֶׁאֵין זֶה בֶּן זוּגוֹ לָרִאשׁוֹן, זֶה הוֹצִיא רְשָׁעָה מִבֵּיתוֹ וְזֶה הִכְנִיס רְשָׁעָה לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ.

The baraita continues: With regard to this kind of wife, it is a mitzva by Torah law to divorce her, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter in her, and he writes her a scroll of severance, and gives it in her hand, and he sends her out of his house…And she goes and becomes another [ aḥer ] man’s wife” (Deuteronomy 24:1–2). The verse called the second husband aḥer , other, to state that this man is not a peer of the first husband. They are morally distinct, as that first husband evicted a wicked woman from his house and this second man introduced a wicked woman into his house.

TOSAFOT

הכתוב קראו אחר מיתוקמא אפילו כבית הלל ואערות קאי:

זָכָה שֵׁנִי – שְׁלָחָהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וּשְׁנֵאָהּ הָאִישׁ הָאַחֲרוֹן״, וְאִם לָאו – קוֹבַרְתּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״אוֹ כִי יָמוּת הָאִישׁ הָאַחֲרוֹן״, כְּדַאי הוּא בְּמִיתָה, שֶׁזֶּה הוֹצִיא רְשָׁעָה מִבֵּיתוֹ וְזֶה הִכְנִיס רְשָׁעָה לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ.

If the second man merits, he will send her out, as it is stated in the following verse: “And the latter husband hates her…and he sends her out of his house” (Deuteronomy 24:3). And if not, she will bury him, as it is stated in the same verse: “Or if the latter husband dies.” It is appropriate for him to receive the punishment of death, as that first man evicted a wicked woman from his house and this second husband introduced a wicked woman into his house.

״כִּי שָׂנֵא שַׁלַּח״ – רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: אִם שְׂנֵאתָהּ שַׁלַּח, רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אוֹמֵר: שָׂנאוּי הַמְשַׁלֵּחַ.

§ The prophet Malachi states in rebuke of those who divorce their wives: “For I hate sending away, says the Lord, the God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16). Rabbi Yehuda says: The verse means that if you hate your wife, send her away. Do not continue living with a woman whom you hate. Rabbi Yoḥanan says: The verse means that one who sends his wife away is hated by God.

RASHI

כי שנא שלח פסוק הוא בנבואת מלאכי:

אם שנאת' שלח כרבי עקיבא:

אם שנואה היא לפני המקום שלח כב"ש ואית דגרסי שנוי המשלח וזו שמעתי שנוי המשלח לפני המקום ואפילו לבית הלל נהי דלא כייפינן שלא להוציא מיהו שנוי הוא:

וְלָא פְּלִיגִי: הָא בְּזִוּג רִאשׁוֹן, הָא בְּזִוּג שֵׁנִי;

And the Gemara explains that they do not disagree. This statement is with regard to a first marriage, i.e., one should tolerate his first wife and not divorce her, and that statement is with regard to a second marriage, in which case the husband should divorce his wife if he hates her.

RASHI

זוג ראשון אשת נעורים ובה משתעי קרא כדכתיב בתריה אשת נעוריך וכתיב ונשמרתם ברוחכם ובאשת נעוריך אל יבגוד:

דְּאָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר: כָּל הַמְגָרֵשׁ אִשְׁתּוֹ רִאשׁוֹנָה – אֲפִילּוּ מִזְבֵּחַ מוֹרִיד עָלָיו דְּמָעוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וְזֹאת שֵׁנִית תַּעֲשׂוּ כַּסּוֹת דִּמְעָה אֶת מִזְבַּח ה׳ בְכִי וַאֲנָקָה מֵאֵיִן עוֹד פְּנוֹת אֶל הַמִּנְחָה וְלָקַחַת רָצוֹן מִיֶּדְכֶם, וַאֲמַרְתֶּם עַל מָה עַל כִּי ה׳ הֵעִיד בֵּינְךָ וּבֵין אֵשֶׁת נְעוּרֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה בָּגַדְתָּה בָּהּ וְהִיא חֲבֶרְתְּךָ וְאֵשֶׁת בְּרִיתֶךָ״. הדרן עלך המגרש וסליקא לה מסכת גיטין

As Rabbi Elazar says: With regard to anyone who divorces his first wife, even the altar sheds tears over him, as it is stated: “And this further you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, insomuch that He does not regard the offering anymore, nor does He receive it with goodwill from your hand. Yet you say: What for? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant” (Malachi 2:13–14). Clearly one should not divorce the wife of his youth, i.e., his first wife, as one who does so is hated by God for divorcing the woman to whom he was bound in companionship and covenant.

SUMMARY

The main principle formulated in this chapter with regard to the halakhot of conditions or qualifications is that a divorce must sever the relationship between the husband and wife, leaving no bond between them and no limitation to the woman’s freedom. Any qualification that limits the wife’s right to remarry, e.g., a condition that she will not marry a certain man, negates the essence of the divorce and therefore invalidates it. By contrast, a condition that restricts the wife for only a limited period of time, or one that predicates the divorce on a specific action, even a prohibited action, which the woman is capable of performing, is a valid condition, and the divorce is therefore valid as well. If the condition cannot be fulfilled by the wife, the divorce is valid and the condition is null. Any condition written in the essential part of the bill of divorce invalidates it. The essential formula of a bill of divorce is the statement permitting her to marry any man she wishes. The wording of the bill of divorce should be clear and unequivocal ab initio. It should be written and worded with great care to prevent it from being contested in any fashion. Although it is important to write a bill of divorce accurately, not every deviation from its proper form invalidates it after the fact. Three cases are listed in which, although the bill of divorce is invalid ab initio, if the wife remarries after receiving it she need not leave her second husband. These are a case in which the bill of divorce was written by the husband but was not signed by witnesses, a case in which it was signed by one witness, and a case in which the date was not written on it. According to the accepted halakha, if the bill of divorce was given to the wife in the presence of two witnesses, it is valid ab initio even if it was not signed by any witnesses, as the witnesses of the transmission of the bill of divorce effect the divorce. If two identical bills of divorce were written for two different couples with the same names and they were mixed up, both bills of divorce should be given to both women, and they are both consequently divorced, even though it is unknown which bill of divorce was written for whom. In a case where several bills of divorce are written on the same paper one below the other, and the signatures are at the bottom, if a common date is written for all the bills of divorce and the names of each couple are specified separately, the signatures count for all the bills of divorce and they are all valid. If they do not have a common date, only the bottommost bill of divorce is valid. If two bills of divorce are written on the same paper in any other form, and the witnesses signed only once, it is presumed that they intended to sign the one that is above their signatures and adjacent to them. If the bills of divorce are written parallel to one another and the signatures extend from one bill of divorce to the other, the one that they appear to be associated with is validated by them. A witness may sign in any language and in several different forms. He may sign his nickname or surname. What matters is that it is clear that he is the one signing the bill of divorce. Although generally a divorce is valid only if it is performed willingly by the husband, a Jewish court can compel a husband to divorce his wife in a case where he is obligated to do so. If the husband is compelled by a gentile court, the divorce is invalid. If a rumor circulates that a certain woman is betrothed or divorced, the court must seek out the source of the rumor. If a substantial basis is found, e.g., specific eyewitnesses are mentioned, the rumor is treated seriously, with stringent ramifications. If the rumor has a reasonable explanation, it is often disregarded. If a husband divorces his wife, the divorce takes effect regardless of the reason that led him to do so. However one should refrain from divorcing his wife against her will, especially if she is the wife of his youth. Rabbeinu Gershom Meor HaGola decreed excommunication against any husband who divorces his wife against her will. If she commits adultery or behaves with licentiousness, it is a mitzva for the husband to divorce her.