When Adam saw his wife for the first time, he expressed his love in a way that every man should toward his wife. The words that Adam used communicated to her that they are inseparable. All other women are only pale imitations of her. She is absolutely perfect, and he wishes to cling only to her.

See how pleasant are those words, how they are words of love: “[The man said: This time,] a bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh” (Genesis 2:23), to show her that they are one and totally inseparable. Now he begins to praise her: “This shall be called woman.” There is none other like her. She is the honor of the home. All other women compared to her are like a monkey alongside a human being. But “this shall be called woman” – absolute perfection. [This describes her] and no other.

All of Adam’s words are words of love, as it is stated: “Many daughters have performed valiantly, but you have surpassed them all” (Proverbs 31:29). “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and he shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). All of what he said was aimed at lovingly drawing her close to him and uniting with her. (Zohar 1:49b)

Further reading: For more on relationships, see A Concise Guide to the Sages, p. 376.

Complete love totally lacks any selfish motivation. It has only one goal – to do the will of the beloved. This is the most praiseworthy of all loves. A person’s value can be perceived by how he loves.

The most complete love is when a person loves his beloved for the beloved’s sake alone, with no other goal in his heart other than doing the will of the beloved, for he does not love his beloved for any other reason… This type of love, for the beloved’s sake, only exists in wise and understanding people… And because this is the most praiseworthy of all types of love and is only found among people of wisdom and understanding, a person will be praised or criticized because of it. He therefore should not dilute it at all with any self interest. (Rabbi Yosef Albo, Sefer HaIkkarim 3:36)

The wedding is merely the beginning of a couple’s life together. The man and woman commit to sharing their lives. They are excited to fulfill the mitzvot together and help each other in performing them. The longer they are together, as days and years pass, both good and difficult, the connection between the couple strengthens and their love grows more powerful.

You see what the commitment of a Jewish marriage really is: Neither playful entertainment between a man and woman, nor imaginary infatuation that in reality ends up in disappointment, will connect a man and woman’s hearts together. Instead, a husband and wife make a serious lifetime commitment. Their love stems from a joint excitement in fulfilling the mitzvot. The man gives his wife satisfaction when he helps her fulfill her mitzvot, she helps him fulfill his mitzvot, and together they diligently fulfill the mitzvot of their household. Their love therefore continually grows during their shared life; and the sanctity of their life increases as they take on many more roles and obligations. The day of the wedding is not the peak of their lives, but rather the springtime of their marital commitment. It is the day when the seed of their mutual love is planted. Therefore, it is impossible that a youth can love a young woman to the same degree as a Jewish man loves his wife or as an elderly man loves his elderly wife. For the bonds that tie their hearts and minds are only created and strengthened through the many good as well as difficult years. (Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, BeMa’agalei Shana, vol. 1, p. 203)