At the time of his bar mitzva, a person stands at a spiritual and psychological crossroads, in which he must choose his or her path. Proper education during this period paves a straight path for one’s entire life.

An infant is tainted by the filth of the evil inclination, and his wisdom and understanding are concealed and imperceptible. When the reaches the age of a youth, which is at the beginning of the thirteenth year, and the signs of wisdom and understanding appear, the young person is similar to a person standing at a crossroads…and if he does not know the particular way to each place, he will stray. So too, when a person reaches the age of thirteen years he stands at a crossroads. He will either go on the path of good to the right, or on the path of evil to the left, and admonishment and rebuke given during that time direct the young person to the good path and save him from the evil. He will then walk all his life along the path that he becomes accustomed to in his youth, and this is what Solomon, in his wisdom, said: “Train the lad in accordance with his way; even when he grows old, he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). (Rav Yoseph Gikatilla, Sefer HaMeshalim 127)

A Jew came before his rebbe and complained about his son, who had just become bar mitzva but refused to attend the synagogue or say blessings, and he neglected the mitzvot.

His rebbe asked him: “How did your son behave before he became bar mitzva?”

“The same way as he behaves now,” the father replied, and added apologetically, “but he was not obligated to keep the mitzot then.”

The rebbe answered: “You are mistaken. One does not become a bar mitzva suddenly, in the course of one day. We begin to educate the Jewish child in Torah and mitzvot already from the time of his birth, so that after thirteen years he will be able to behave as a bar mitzva.”

Further reading: For more on bar and bat mitzva, their meaning, and how we celebrate them, see A Concise Guide to Halakha, p. 36.