During the period of the seventeenth of Tamuz until after Tisha BeAv, it is customary to avoid reciting the Sheheheyanu blessing, which one would recite upon eating a new fruit or when first wearing a new garment. If someone comes across a new fruit during this time, he should preserve it until after Tisha BeAv if possible. Likewise, one should postpone purchasing new clothes and other items whose acquisition brings joy, until after Tisha BeAv. In addition, during the Three Weeks, one should be extra careful about activities and situations that involve a degree of danger (e.g., surgery, challenging hikes).

Below are the laws of mourning, which increase in intensity as Tisha BeAv approaches.

In addition to refraining from reciting the Sheheheyanu blessing, Ashkenazim observe several other practices of mourning beginning on the seventeenth of Tamuz: no weddings are held; one does not shave or have a haircut; there are no joyous events involving dancing, and one does not listen to instrumental music. In Sephardic communities, all these laws of mourning come into effect only at the beginning of the month of Av.

The mishna states: “When Av begins, one decreases rejoicing” (Ta’anit 4:6). Accordingly, the main mourning period starts from Rosh Hodesh Av. The Sages also state that in the month of Av, the fortune of the Jewish people is at its lowest ebb, and therefore on the days between Rosh Hodesh Av and Tisha BeAv, it is recommended to avoid negotiations and legal proceedings with non-Jews.

In this period, called the Nine Days, Ashkenazic communities observe more stringent customs of mourning: One does not eat animal or poultry meat; one does not drink wine; one does not bathe (as described below); and one does not launder clothes or wear clothes that have been laundered (see below). In contrast, Sephardic Jews observe these latter two stringencies only during the week in which Tisha BeAv falls. In a year when Tisha BeAv occurs on a Sunday, or even if the date of the ninth of Av is on Shabbat and the fast is therefore postponed to Sunday, some Sephardim do not observe at all the stringencies of the week in which Tisha BeAv falls, while others observe them throughout the previous week.

Strictly speaking, the halakha is that during the Nine Days, or the week in which Tisha BeAv falls, one may not bathe in hot water or even in cold water with soap. Nevertheless, since in our times bathing is a daily activity that is not an indulgence or a special pleasure, many halakhic authorities permit it, although even they say that it is best to bathe quickly and with lukewarm water that does not cause discomfort but is also not pleasurable. Swimming, bathing for pleasure, and using a Jacuzzi or sauna, are prohibited.

During this time period, it is prohibited to launder clothing and to wear freshly laundered clothes, but if one has small children, who often get their clothes dirty, one may be lenient and wash their clothing. If adults wash their own clothes and wear them just before Rosh Hodesh Av, even if only for a short time, they may wear them during the Nine Days as well. In this regard too, some are lenient and permit wearing freshly laundered clothes even though they have not been worn beforehand. The reason, once again, is that in our time, the frequent changing of clothing is part of the reality of daily life and does not cause one special pleasure. There is no restriction on wearing laundered undergarments.

Further reading: For more on the reduction of joy in the month of Av, see A Concise Guide to the Sages, p. 298; A Concise Guide to Mahshava, p. 50.

On the day before Tisha BeAv, and especially at the seuda hamafseket, the meal before the fast (for more on this meal, see next chapter), it is absolutely prohibited to eat meat or drink wine. Likewise, at noon of this day, a few of the halakhic restrictions that are customary on Tisha BeAv itself come into effect, as detailed in the next chapter.

There are some leniencies in the customs of mourning for a meal held in celebration of a mitzva that occurs during the Nine Days:

At a circumcision or redemption of a firstborn, the main celebrants, namely, the parents of the baby, the sandak, and the mohel, are all permitted to wear new and festive clothes. Meat and wine may be served at the celebratory meal, and all participants may partake of them, provided they would have participated in this celebration even had it occurred during the rest of the year, and they did not come especially so that they could eat meat.

Further reading: For more on the sandak and mohel, see the section on circumcision, p. 5.

A meal that is held on the occasion of the completion of the study of a tractate of the Mishna or the Talmud is considered a seudat mitzva, a mitzva celebration, and it is permitted to eat meat and drink wine at this meal. Some go out of their way to hold many such meals, in order to increase this permitted type of joy, even if they abstain from meat and wine.

In the past, it was customary to observe a certain measure of mourning, albeit in a muted fashion, even on the Shabbatot that occur during the Nine Days. In recent generations, this custom has ceased to be widespread. In practice, it is permitted, and even preferable, not to observe any form of mourning on Shabbat, and to eat meat and drink wine, as is done on all Shabbatot of the year. The preparations for the Shabbatot of the Nine Days are similar to those of every Shabbat eve, except for the prohibition to have a haircut and shave, which remains in force. Some are also stringent not to bathe or shower in hot water.

For Havdala on Saturday night during the Nine Days, or, for Sephardim, the week during which Tisha BeAv falls, some have the custom of using beer or other alcoholic beverages, rather than wine, in order to avoid drinking the wine. Some use grape juice, which they give to a child to drink instead of drinking it themselves. By contrast, others perform Havdala on wine in the usual manner, and drink it themselves, in accordance with the halakha of a mitzva celebration. Even the melaveh malka meal, which is held after Shabbat, is considered by some to be a mitzva celebration and they therefore maintain that one may eat meat and drink wine then as well.