The stages following the death of a close relative are as follows, in chronological order:

(1) Acute mourning [aninut]

(2) The funeral

(3) The shiva

(4) The first thirty days [sheloshim]

(5) The first year

The following details refer to the period from the time of death until the funeral. The halakhot of the funeral itself, the days of the shiva, and the first thirty days will be presented in subsequent chapters.

Further reading: The various stages of mourning correspond to the stages of the separation of the soul from the body; see A Concise Guide to Mahshava, p. 26.

When someone’s first-degree relative dies, he is an called an onen, an acute mourner, from the time of death until the burial. The Sages exempted the onen from all positive commandments, due to the sorrow he feels over the passing and the need to focus on preparations for the funeral. Among other things, he is exempt from reciting prayers and blessings. Nevertheless, he may not actively violate any prohibitions. Thus, for example, he may not eat non-kosher food.

All the obligations of mourning that are in force during the shiva (see below) apply to the onen as well, with the following exceptions: the onen may continue to wear his shoes, even if they are of leather; he is not required to sit on a low stool; and he may leave his house freely. However, an onen may not eat meat or drink wine.

If a person is an onen on Shabbat, e.g., if a relative died on Shabbat or if he died earlier but there was not enough time to bury him before Shabbat, the laws of acute mourning do not apply to him. This means that throughout that Shabbat he is obligated to observe all the mitzvot and he may eat meat and drink wine. In such a case, however, the onen does not perform Havdala after Shabbat, but waits and does so only after the funeral.

Further reading: The full details of the laws of mourning can be found in the next section, p. 85.