The age of three is the official age at which parents must begin to accustom their son to the fulfillment of mitzvot. This is, of course, a very slow and gradual process, which starts with actions that are easy for the child to implement. The first haircut is therefore an important milestone in the education of a son in the Jewish way of life.

The first haircut is performed at the age of three, in accordance with the allegorical comparison of the Sages between a man and a tree (Midrash Tanĥuma, Parashat Kedoshim, ch. 14): Just as the halakha of orla (the prohibition against deriving benefit from the fruit of a tree in its first three years) applies to a tree, we likewise refrain from cutting the child’s hair in his first three years.

The haircut is performed on the third birthday. If this date falls on a Shabbat or a festival, the ceremony is conducted after the Shabbat or festival, but it is not moved ahead to a date before the child is three years old.

If his birthday falls between Passover and Lag BaOmer, a period during which haircuts are not taken, in commemoration of twenty-four thousand students of Rabbi Akiva who died during this period, the haircutting ceremony should be held on Lag BaOmer itself. In some communities, it is the custom not to have haircuts between Lag BaOmer and Shavuot either. Accordingly, if the birthday falls during this period, the haircut is postponed until after Shavuot. Each person should follow the custom of his community and the instruction of his rabbi in this regard.

Likewise, Ashkenazim do not have a haircut during the three weeks between the fast of the Seventeenth of Tamuz and the fast of the Ninth of Av, Tisha BeAv. On these days, called the period “between the straits,” we mourn the destruction of the Temple. When the birthday falls during this time, the haircut is postponed until after Tisha BeAv.

The first haircut can be performed anywhere: at home, in a courtyard, a synagogue, or in a hall, but over the generations it has become the practice to hold it in a holy place. In Jerusalem many have the custom of giving their three-year-old son his first haircut near the tomb of Simon the Righteous, located in a cave north of the Old City.

The most common place to hold the ceremony in Israel is by the grave of the tanna Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai in Meron. The first individual to follow this practice was the renowned kabbalist Rabbi Yitzhak Luria (the Ari), who lived and flourished in nearby Safed in the sixteenth century. His most prominent disciple, Rabbi Hayim Vital, related that when the Ari’s son reached the age of three, “our master led his little son there [to Meron] with all the members of his household, where they shaved his head in accordance with the known custom, and they held there a day of celebration and joy.” This tradition persists to this day.

Family and friends gather together to celebrate the festive event. As part of the ceremony, each person is invited to cut off a few hairs from the boy’s head, while of course taking care not to remove the two pe’ot themselves. If a rabbi or priest is present, it is customary to honor them first with the hair cutting. Some bring their son to righteous individuals and great Torah scholars, so that they can participate in this facet of the youngster’s mitzva education.

Usually the haircut is performed at a festive meal, at which words of Torah are delivered and the attendees bless the child and his parents.

It should be noted that it is not mandatory for the first haircut to be performed at the age of three; it is merely a custom. Some do not do so, but rather cut the child’s hair, leaving him with two pe’ot, at a time suitable for them.