As stated at the beginning of the section, as time passes from the death and the burial, the intensity of mourning observances decreases, but some mourning customs must still be observed. These practices ensure that the mourner does not become completely distracted from thinking about the deceased and mourning for him, and they also constitute an expression of respect for the departed. The following are some of the unique laws and customs of this period between the shiva and the end of the first thirty days [the sheloshim].

Similar to the days of shiva, these thirty days are counted from the day of burial, not from the day of death. Consequently, if a person died and was buried on the same day, that day is the first in the thirty-day count. But if the person died on a Sunday and the burial was performed on Sunday night or Monday, the first day of the sheloshim will be Monday. The end of this mourning period will be on the morning of the thirtieth day, immediately after sunrise.

When a major holiday, that is, Passover, Shavuot, Rosh HaShana, Yom Kippur, or Sukkot, occurs during the sheloshim period, the mourning period of the sheloshim ends at the onset of the holiday, and the mourners then move on to the less severe mourning observances that apply to the entire year of mourning (see below). The application of this halakha involves many details, and therefore each case will be discussed separately:

If a person is buried before Passover, the shiva will end when Passover begins, and the sheloshim will conclude fifteen days (or in Israel, sixteen days) after the end of Passover, on the morning of the seventh of Iyar. This is because when the arrival of the holiday terminates the shiva, it is considered as if seven days of mourning have been observed, and the first day of Passover is considered the eighth day of mourning, leaving just twenty-two more days.

If a burial takes place before Shavuot, the shiva will come to an end at the start of Shavuot, and the sheloshim will again continue until sixteen days after the end of the festival, finishing on the morning of the twenty-second of Sivan. This is because the shiva is considered to have been a full seven days regardless of how many days it was actually observed, and Shavuot itself is considered as though it were an additional seven days, leaving sixteen days left in the thirty days. The second day of the festival outside of Israel counts as one of those sixteen remaining days.

If a person is buried before Rosh HaShana, the shiva is stopped at the onset of Rosh HaShana (see above); after the holiday, the sheloshim period begins, but is then terminated by Yom Kippur.

For one who is buried between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, the shiva will end on Yom Kippur, while the sheloshim period will be terminated by Sukkot.

In the case of one who is buried between Yom Kippur and Sukkot, the shiva concludes upon the start of Sukkot, and the sheloshim ends eight days (in Israel, nine days) after Shemini Atzeret/Simhat Torah, on the morning of the first of Marheshvan. This is because the first day of Sukkot is considered the eighth day of mourning, as explained above, and, moreover, the day of Shemini Atzeret is an independent festival and is therefore considered as if it were a full seven days. After Simhat Torah, then, only eight days (in Israel, nine days) of the sheloshim remain.

The following customs of mourning are observed during the sheloshim period:

Throughout the sheloshim, mourners may not shave or have their hair cut.

One should avoid cutting one’s nails during the sheloshim (an exception is made for a woman before her ritual immersion).

Mourners may not wear new clothes during sheloshim, and the Ashkenazic custom is not to wear even a laundered garment. If another person has worn a new garment once, even if only for a short while, it is permitted for a mourner to wear it afterward. Some are more lenient and permit wearing a laundered garment if it has been placed on the floor for some time, thus reducing the freshly laundered feel of the garment. There are those who are lenient and allow wearing laundered undergarments.

It is prohibited to get married within the sheloshim period. But if the wedding date was already set beforehand, it is the accepted practice that the wedding may take place on time.

Mourners may not participate in parties and joyous events such as weddings. If the event is celebrating the marriage or another occasion of someone especially close to the mourner, a rabbi should be consulted.

Until the end of the sheloshim period, a mourner should not go on especially distant business trips.

Throughout the sheloshim, the custom is to avoid bathing for pleasure. Consequently, mourners should try not to bathe in warm water, and they should avoid pleasure swims.

With regard to visiting the grave at the end of the sheloshim, see below.