After the burial, the mourners remove their shoes, in accordance with laws of mourning. From this point onward, the period of mourning begins (see next section).

Before leaving the burial plot, it is customary for each of those present to place a small stone on the mound of earth that covers the grave. It is customary to do this every time one visits a grave. Several explanations have been offered for this practice, but it is primarily an indication that the grave has been visited and that the deceased has not been forgotten.

On the way out of the cemetery it is customary for those present to form two rows, and for the mourners to walk between the two rows. The lines should be formed at some distance from the graves.

As the mourners pass through the lines of comforters, they recite to him the accepted formula of consolation. The Ashkenazic custom is to declare:

“May God console you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Some add: And may you know no further sorrow.”

Sephardim say:

“May you be comforted from heaven.”

The mourners then go to the house where they intend to sit shiva, which is the practice of sitting for seven days and receiving condolences from relatives and acquaintances. Some have the custom of accompanying the mourners to the house of mourning. When they come home, it is customary to serve the mourners a small meal called the seudat havra’a (see next section).

During the shiva, the mourners may not wear leather shoes. If they were not equipped in advance with appropriate non-leather footwear at the cemetery, they may wear their regular shoes until they arrive home. In such a case, some are stringent and put a small amount of dirt inside the shoes, to make them less comfortable.

Before leaving the cemetery, there is a custom to pluck a few weeds with a little dirt and throw them behind one’s back. Some say while doing so: “He is mindful that we are but dust” (Psalms 103:14). One of the reasons given for this custom is that during the Temple period, individuals who had become ritually impure from contact with a corpse would be purified through the ashes of the Red Heifer mixed with water, which would be sprinkled on them with a bundle of hyssop (see Numbers 19). Nowadays, when ritual purification with the Red Heifer is impossible, the weeds and the dust are a symbolic reminder of that procedure.

Upon exiting the cemetery, one washes his hands, alternately pouring water on each hand three times. This washing ensures that negative spiritual forces present in the cemetery do not accompany us on our way. When finished washing the hands, one should put the cup back upside down, and instead of wiping his hands on a towel he should let them dry in the air.