Usually the funeral starts at the funeral home, where the deceased is also prepared and purified for the funeral. There are places where there is no funeral home, in which case the funeral procession starts from the synagogue or from some other central location. One can also begin the funeral procession from the home of the deceased. When the family wishes to start the funeral procession from a less standard location, they should coordinate this with the members of the hevra kadisha.

The Ashkenazic custom is for the mourners to tear their garments at the beginning of the funeral and recite this blessing:

“Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, the true Judge.”

Through this blessing, the mourners express the belief that death is a common fact of the natural world, which is directed by God, and that the judgment of God is true and just. This attitude, of the justification and acceptance of God’s judgment, finds further expression in the continuation of the funeral as well, and also in the specific version of the Kaddish prayer recited by the mourners.

The standard explanation for the tearing of one’s garment is that this act demonstrates the deep sorrow that the mourners feel over the death of their loved one. Some explain that on the contrary, tearing the garment helps one deal with the emotionally difficult moments by means of an action that temporarily diverts the mourner’s attention.

Sephardic custom is to perform the tearing of the garments and to recite the blessing above after the conclusion of the funeral.

For the passing of siblings, children, and spouses, the mourners tear the garment from the collar down, for the length of roughly eight centimeters on the right side of the chest, and they tear the outer garment only. In the case of the passing of parents, the mourners tear the garment on the left side, down to the place of the heart, and they tear all the upper layers they are wearing (apart from the undershirt). It is customary to start the tear with a knife, and to tear the rest by hand. The tearing should be performed while standing.

Some observe the custom that someone else tears the garment for the mourner, while others have the custom that the mourners themselves tear the garment.

The mourner continues to wear the torn garment throughout the shiva. When mourning for siblings, children, and spouses, the mourners may change their garment during the shiva for a different item of clothing, which need not be torn. When mourning for parents, they must remain with a torn garment until the end of the shiva. If they nevertheless wish to change clothes, they must tear the alternative garment as well.

When a funeral takes place on the intermediate festival days [Hol HaMoed] of Sukkot or Passover, there are different opinions regarding the tearing. The local rabbi or members of the hevra kadisha should be consulted.

If an immediate family member died while the mourner was wearing an important or expensive garment, he may change into a less expensive garment before the funeral so that he can tear the less expensive garment.

If he is mourning for two relatives, the mourner performs only one act of tearing. But if one of the deceased relatives is his father or mother and the other is a sibling, a child, or a spouse, then two tears must be made, one on each side of the garment, in accordance with the aforementioned specifications.

It is customary to eulogize the deceased before the funeral procession. Indeed, it is a mitzva to eulogize him and praise his virtues and good deeds. The purpose of the eulogy is to honor the deceased and to encourage the living to follow his virtuous actions.

When eulogizing a person, one should not lie or grossly misrepresent who the individual was and what he stood for. However, it is proper to focus on his strengths and to present him in a positive light. One may eulogize briefly or speak at length, but one should try not to overly inconvenience those who have come to pay their respects to the deceased.

If the deceased requested before his death that he should not be eulogized, his wishes should be respected. There are a small number of communities where it is customary that eulogies are not said at all.

In most instances, if the funeral procession starts from a synagogue, the eulogies should be delivered outside, not in the building.

There are certain times of year when it is permitted to bury the dead, but not to eulogize them: Rosh Hodesh, Hanukkah, the two days of Purim (fourteenth and fifteenth of Adar), and, in a leap year, “Purim Katan” (the fourteenth and fifteenth of Adar I). Some maintain that it is permitted to deliver a eulogy on Purim Katan. Eulogies are not given on the intermediate festival days [Hol HaMoed] of Sukkot and Passover, or at any time during the month of Nisan. According to some opinions, no eulogies are delivered on the fourteenth of Iyar, which is known as “Second Pesah.” In each of these cases one should ask a rabbi how to proceed.

If the deceased was a great Torah scholar, he is eulogized even if the funeral is held on one of the above dates (with the exception of the intermediate festival days). But even in the case of a Torah scholar, eulogies should be kept short on these dates.